I Thought He Knew
by CuriousLittleBird
Summary: Garfield and Arlene have been an on-again, off-again couple for so long, but nobody really knows what Arlene thinks of the whole situation. Now Garfield’s finally ended it for good. How does she react? A medium-length one-shot, told from Arlene's POV


Note: I don't own "I Thought She Knew" by N'Sync. I just thought this was a fitting song for what happens in the plot. There might be a little bit of OOC-ness in the plot, but I think it's...kind of cute.

Night had fallen gently over the city as I walked through the neighborhood where Garfield lived. I didn't exactly know why, but butterflies always flip-flopped in my tummy when I neared his house. It was anticipation and fear and...something else I couldn't pinpoint.

As I drew closer to Garfield's house, I heard Jon's voice from inside.

"Go get the paper, Garfield!"

He was attempting to sound commanding, and failing miserably at it. I snickered a little bit---only I knew how to make the resident fat cat do anything. I was his girlfriend, after all. I hid behind one of the flower bushes in the front yard and waited to see if he would actually come out.

"Please, Garfield. Can't you do anything I ask you to?"

Ha, Jon sounded so pathetic. Couldn't he understand that the way to deal with Garfield was to offer him something he wanted?

"I've got lasagna cooking..."

Finally, the little cat door swung open, its hinges squeaking, and out waddled Garfield, mentally mumbling to himself.

"I tell you what, I do a lot for that guy and all he can do is ask me to get the paper, get the mail, let him give me a bath. Hah!"

I giggled at his mumbling, and he looked over to the flowers where I hid, quickly spotting my lavender fur against the dark green of the leaves and the bright yellow of the flower petals.

"Hey there, Arlene! Didn't see you there." He came over to me, smiling, but with a little less intensity than normal. Something in the region of my chest started to beat faintly, clashing with my heartbeat...I felt the sensation of absolute cold in my stomach and knew that fear had taken me over. But I kept my cool, instead flashing my gap-toothed smile at him, which usually made him laugh. Not tonight, however.

"Arlene?" he asked, quietly. "I...I have to tell you something."

"What?" The clashing heartbeat of fear in my chest grew stronger, and my stomach tied itself into an impossible knot.

"Well...I don't know if I can say it..."

Oh, God.

"See...I just don't know if I can feel anything for you."

The heartbeat rose to a fever pitch in my chest, and I reeled mentally. After almost 20 years of knowing him, and---and trying to make his life better...he can't feel anything for me?

"What do you mean?" I asked, as evenly as I could.

"Well...it's just that I like my life the way it is. You know, sleeping 'til noon, kicking Odie and messing with Jon, eating lasagna all day..." He laughed in the middle of his thought. "...Yeah, it's a great life, but I don't know that you really belong in it."

I couldn't believe my sharp ears. "Why?" I managed to ask after a minute of trying to compose myself. "Don't you need someone to love?"

"Well, I have a pretty full life already...I mean, the sleeping alone is worth a lot to me, and then I have Odie and Jon to keep me company...I just don't think I need you right now."

The fearful chill in my stomach was replaced by a bitter fire at the base of my spine. My tail whipped around fiercely behind me. "After 20 years, you have the nerve to go and say this?"

He looked surprised. "Arlene...we weren't really ever much more than just friends, were we? I mean, we always fought, so I thought that meant you didn't really care about me."

"Why would you ever think that?" How in the world did he expect me to take this calmly? This was 20 years of my life that I'd dreamed and planned for him to be the one I take home, the one I spend the rest of my life with.

Garfield sighed. "I...I just think it's best for me." He turned away from me slightly. "I...I guess I'll see ya around, Arlene."

My heart sank to my paw pads. "Bye, Garfield," I murmured. He started to walk back towards the house, but I called out to him, stopping him.

"Wait?"

He turned back around. "What?"

I laughed a little, trying to come up with an excuse to be close to him. "You...you have a little spot of lasagna on your cheek," I finished lamely. "Want me to get it off?"

"Sure," he said, and he came back to me for a little bit. "Just as long as you let me eat it," he joked. I smiled, sadly, and with one paw gently stroked his cheek, playing at removing the "spot" I saw. His eyes sparkled so brilliantly when one was up this close to him, and I almost cried, not wanting to break the gaze. Gently, I licked the "spot" on his cheek a few times, brushing the short fur back into place, and sat back on my haunches.

"There, I think I got it," I said as brightly as I could, and he smiled.

"Thanks, Arlene." He turned then, and walked back into the house---I could tell his mood was down by the way his tail swished limply behind him. My own tail was going to be down for a long time.

I walked back down the sidewalk towards the alley where I lived...the alley where Garfield and I had shared so many dates and so many kisses. He always seemed like he loved me, and now---now it just seemed like he was able to discard me. It made no sense...his life would be so much sweeter with me in it. At least, I thought it would be.

A car drove up to the stop sign on the road, and I heard tendrils of song and words wind their way out of the open windows.

"She was my once in a lifetime

Happy ending come true

I guess I should have told her

I thought she knew...

She said I took her for granted

It's the last thing I would do

Oh, I'll never understand it

I thought she knew...

I thought she knew my world revolved around her

My love light burned for her alone

But she couldn't see the flame

Only myself to blame

I should have known

I should have known..."

The car drove off, leaving me in a swirl of road dust and gravel, but the song continued to play in my head as I turned down the alleyway, back to my tiny, cold little bed. God, it's so lonely here...why had I never noticed before? Oh, that's right...that was when I actually had someone to care about me. Now I was just another old alley cat.

Mournfully, I began to sing the song I'd heard from the car, meowing along and doing the best I could with the human melody. Who would have thought I'd ever understand humans, let alone feel like one of their songs played the strings of heartache within me?

"He was my once in a lifetime

Happy ending come true

I guess I should have told him

I thought he knew...

He said he had a full life without me

He doesn't know what he did

Oh, I'll never understand it

I thought he knew...

My voice echoed around the empty alleyway, reverberating in my heart. Garfield didn't know what he was doing to me...I spent so much time trying to heal him and be what he needed, and the irony was that I needed him more than ever, even though he was the reason I needed healing.

"I thought he knew my world revolved around him

My love light burns for him alone

But he couldn't see the flame

Only myself to blame

I should have known...

I should have known..."

My heartsick caterwauling shattered the night, and unfortunately attracted the attention of a couple of humans, living about 3 floors up in the apartment building that made one side of the alleyway.

"Shaddup, ol' mangy cat!" cried an older man from the window. A flowerpot crashed down beside me, making me jump like a high-strung Persian. I suddenly understood why Garfield came home from the alleyways with flower petals and potting soil in his fur all the time---flowerpots were the item of choice for hecklers who liked to play rough. Heh...humans couldn't appreciate good music if it slapped 'em in the face. To me, Garfield was my superstar on the fence.

The old man threw an old shoe at me, and it bounced about an inch away from me, making me jump, and setting my nerves even more on edge. I shivered uncontrollably.

A middle-aged woman came up beside the older man, fussing at him. "Oh, Floyd...good Lord, you done scared the heck out of that cat. Look at it...just shiverin' and meowin'..." She left the window, and a couple of minutes later the door to the alley opened and she came outside.

"Well, hey there, little 'un," she said soothingly. I backed away from her instinctively, and she smiled kindly at me.

"You don't have to be 'fraid of me," she said quietly, and she held out a slice of cheese to me, setting it down in front of me. My eyes glittered hungrily---I hadn't had a decent bit to eat in a few days. Eagerly I started to eat, and she gently petted my head as I did.

"Lord, you're just skin and bones, ain't you?" she said, stroking my back. "I can feel ever' one of your bones in your back." She sighed heavily, and sat down. "No wonder you're out here cryin' like you've lost everything you ever had."

Looking up at her, I blinked sadly. "If only you knew who I've lost," I thought.

Strangely, the woman seemed to know exactly what I felt, and smiled at me. "Well, I think I know what that look means." Her eyes grew wistful and distant. "I oughta know, seeing as how I see it ever' morning in the bathroom mirror." She looked up to the 3rd floor window, which was now dimly lit with the flickering light of a TV, and a sports event played softly in the background. "Floyd ain't shown me kindness in I don't know how long. And the darnedest thing is, he don't even notice. It's like he don't understand what he's doin' to me. I mean, I married him for a reason..."

I finished my cheese silently and lay down on my side, resting my head on the cold concrete. The woman sighed tiredly. "You poor ol' thing. I tell you, men don't understand what they do to us girls sometimes. All of 'em act like they don't need you, then beg for ya to stay just when you're ready to get to walkin' out the door." She stroked my side, smoothing my fur down, and I noticed her eyes were flooded as she looked at me.

A few seconds later, Floyd leaned out the window. "Dang it, Thelma! What'd you do with all the beer I got yesterday?" He scoffed. "I told you, woman, I bought it for me, and I'm the one who's gonna drink it."

Thelma rolled her eyes and looked up at him, huffing lightly. "Floyd, the day I drink your beer is the day I die. I done told you this morning that you drunk it all last night after you came home from that poker game!"

Floyd growled under his breath and slammed the window down as a response. Thelma looked at me, still lying on the cold pavement of the alley, and shook her head. "See what I got to deal with?" She looked down at me kindly, and petted my head. "...I can tell you're tore up over some ol' tomcat, but I'm gonna tell you---don't let him walk all over you. Tomcats...they's like young men. They wanna get out and live a little before they decide to get tied down. Floyd used to tell me he'd never get married 'cause he thought he'd be in show business all his life. But here we are, married for 30 years. I ain't sayin' we're happy all the time---heck, sometimes we don't even talk---but his life turned out whole lots different than he thought it would."

She rose stiffly from the ground. "Listen, little kitty...don't you be worried. Your tomcat may wanna roam around a little, but you take care of yourself and you'll find him coming around here, sure enough." She turned and walked back into the building, leaving me alone in the alleyway again.

I walked down the alley a little bit, towards my bed, and was about to settle down in it when I saw something lying nearby...something that definitely wasn't mine. I went over to it and found that it was a shard of a mirror, silvery and shiny, and it reflected the starry night above me as I looked at it.

I stared down into it and saw how thin my triangular face looked. Even my smile, with its gap tooth and everything, looked sad. I used to think I looked so pretty. Heck, I used to be pretty self-confident. Too bad that's over.

I flopped down on my bed, trying to think over all that Thelma had told me---I hoped Garfield and I wouldn't end up like her and Floyd, arguing and having petty spats. Picturing a life with Garfield was always easy for me---three beautiful, fluffy kittens, with my exotic eyes and his adorable face...and Jon taking care of us all, feeding Garfield lasagna and feeding me whatever he had ('cause I'm not picky). I could imagine "Uncle Odie" playing gently with our kittens, being their buddy and letting them tug on his ears. I could even imagine going out to the fence every Saturday night and listening to Garfield perform his old favorite songs. I didn't care if I did get potting soil in my fur---I'd be happy, because I'd be proud of my husband. ...But what good would dreaming and picturing and wishing do if he never came back?

After a few more minutes of playing at trying to sleep, I finally got up, and walked back out of the alley, toward Garfield's house. As I came near the house, I heard the surprised bark that usually meant Odie had just been kicked into next week. Laughing in spite of myself, I hopped onto the front windowsill and looked through the glass. I saw Garfield in the living room, laughing heartily at Odie's dazed expression. The unfortunate dog lay on the floor, reeling from the kick across the room, and I smiled to myself. Man, Garfield looked so happy...

My heart paused in my chest. I guess he was right---he had a full and happy life without me.

As I kept sitting there, watching him, I saw Jon serve him a pan of lasagna on the table, and he bounded up from the floor to the tabletop, just as agile as a thinner cat might be. Garfield could be quite graceful if he wanted to be. He started to munch happily on his food, scarfing it down as if he were starving, and I found myself smiling at his antics. He might be a bit selfish at times---all right, a lot selfish----and he might have generous love handles, and a bit of a cruel sense of humor...but to me, he seemed just...perfect. His flaws didn't seem to matter to me so much.

I was so lost in my dream world that I didn't notice I had started to cry until my paws started getting wet. I hadn't even been separate from him for a whole day, and I already missed him so much.

Garfield looked up from his food, licking his paws happily. He's always so cute when he does that...I wiped a tear away with my paw and kept looking in at him. I didn't expect him to look out the window, though, which is exactly what he did. I tried to duck so he wouldn't see me, but unfortunately he did. To my surprise, however, he turned away from his food and left, instead going over to his bed and tucking himself in, wrapping himself completely in his blanket.

Jon came back into the room just then, and looked like he was about to have a heart attack when he saw the pan of lasagna sitting on the table, only half-eaten.

"What in the world?" He went over to Garfield and poked him. "Are you sick, Garfield? Why didn't you eat?"

"Leave me alone," Garfield said sullenly. Though I could understand his words, Jon evidently couldn't, and kept asking him what was wrong, each time getting a shorter and shorter answer, until finally Garfield stayed quiet.

Hmm...did this mean he was upset, too? Maybe he missed me...

Jon finally gave up trying to get through to Garfield, and turned toward the door to the other room. "Come on, Odie...let's get some sleep," he said, and Odie dutifully got up from his spot on the floor. Jon left the room, turning off the overhead light as he went out, and Odie followed him out. The living room was lighted by only one dim light from the kitchen, and Garfield's bed lay in shadow behind the recliner chair. I figured he was long gone to sleep by now, so I turned from the window, getting ready to hop down from the sill and go back to the alley, until I heard a familiar voice start to sing a familiar tune.

"She was my once in a lifetime

Happy ending come true

I guess I shouldn't have said it---

I thought it was best...

She asked how I could have this nerve

After 20 years of love

Oh, I didn't know her feelings!

She thought I knew...

But I thought she knew my world revolved around her

My love light burned for her alone

But I'm terrified of change

Only myself to blame

I should have kept her

I shouldn't have said it..."

Outside the window, I sat entranced by Garfield's voice, singing his words with the tune I knew so well. Utterly moved by the music, I started to sing along---unbeknownst to Garfield, he was now singing a duet. He was out of bed by this point, looking out the window that faced the alleyway I lived in, and I listened as he sung the first set of his lyrics:

"You were my once in a lifetime

Happy ending come true

I guess I shouldn't have said it---

I thought it was best..."

He fell silent, seeming to be lost in his head for a minute. Softly, quietly, I sung the second set of my lyrics:

"You said you had a full life without me

You don't know what you did

Oh, I'll never understand it

I thought you knew...

I thought you knew my world revolved around you---"

My voice unexpectedly broke, and as if on cue, Garfield started to sing again.

"My love light burns for you alone

But I'm terrified of change

Only myself to blame

I should have kept you..."

I filled in the last line, tearfully.

"I should understand..."

I didn't know if Garfield heard me, or even if he knew who was singing with him. But I knew now that he did miss me. And he said he had a full life? Hah! Full life, my paw---he was feeling the same as me, lonely and regretful. Why he was doing this to himself, I had no clue...but I now knew he did love me. And maybe...time would tell the rest of our story, and give us a happy ending.


End file.
